I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
