3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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