So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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