normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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