Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
