I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
