Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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