is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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