i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
