he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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