Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
