im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I forgot how hot balto sounded
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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