plz talk dirty to me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize