Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize