ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
