More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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