READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
