all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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