belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
