If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize