Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
