honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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