smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
