I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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