uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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