Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
