I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
