the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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