I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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