Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
