I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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