dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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