After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
