Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
