At least make sure they are 18
Why
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
