She said her name was "party"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
