In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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