She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
