just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
