Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
