remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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