You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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