when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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