Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
false alarm, still single
Randomize
