one two three fourrrrnication!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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