just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
