drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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