Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
