He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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