Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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