Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
