Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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