There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
