I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
