Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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