my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
